Here are some inputs on body language that I thought would be of great help to all our members in their day-to-day life, to improve their soft skills personally and professionally.

What you say is important, but, What you do is very very important. It has been researched that your body does not lie. Most commonly used body gestures and their meaning. I believe they would be of help to you.

Arms crossed over chest   - Defensiveness or anxiety

Swinging arm  - Want to walk away from a situation

Eye blinking  - Fast blinking signals stress

Downward gaze - Feeling defeated

Taking notes - Shows interest or involvement

Hand over mouth - Can mean boredom

Arms behind head and leaning back - Looking for power or control

Unbuttoning coat - Openness

Buttoning coat - Feels trapped and wants to leave

Standing with hands behind back - Confidence

Clearing throat - Nervousness

Rubbing back of neck - Defensiveness

Hands flat on table - Ready to agree

Stroking chin - Evaluating or thinking

Foot tapping - Impatience

Rubbing the eye - Doubt or disbelief

Rubbing hands - Anticipation

Tilted head - Interest

Pulling / tugging ear - Indecision

So next time you are communicating be aware of your and the other persons body language and understand what it means.

Here is the most important tip on counselling, I believe it will help you to improve your soft skills and in turn to be a better person, a person who would be liked by others.

Is someone you care about going through an ending or a difficult  transition, feeling sad or grieving? Are you?

Everyone experiences changes in life. With most endings and transitions -- such as job changes, the ending of a relationship, or the death of a loved one -- grief and sadness are a normal part of the process.

Unfortunately, people experiencing grief and sadness are often given the message that they should do so in seclusion. While in public, they're encouraged to hide their emotions, put on a happy face, get on with life, etc. This is mostly because the rest of us are not comfortable with and don't know how to deal with grief and sadness in others.

Think about the last time you had a conversation with someone experiencing sadness or grief.

Once the person started sharing his or her emotions, didn't you immediately want to offer encouragement, inspiration or a solution? Most of us do, and we believe we are being supportive by doing this.

But while we are busy fixing the person's problems, he or she has just lost the opportunity to be listened to. Telling his or her story and being listened to is vital during times of transition.

The following are some ideas to really help someone experiencing the grief or sadness of a transition. Follow the steps outlined below and you will be giving those you cherish a priceless gift.

If you are the one experiencing an ending, grief or transition, share these ideas with your friends and family to create a supportive environment for yourself.

1. Listen Without Judgment.

2. Listen Without Telling Your Story.

3. Handle Yourself in the Face of Sadness or Grief.

4. Take Responsibility for Yourself.

5. Don't Determine the Time Limit on another's Emotions.

Friends, If someone you care about is going through a transition and feeling sad or grieving, simply listen. By listening you will be giving him or her a vital gift.

If you are the one going through a difficult transition and feeling sad, grieving, find supportive people to simply listen to you.

Your relationships will be richer and fuller for the experience.

"Ask Questions that are Open-Ended rather than Closed-Ended."

For example at home your ask your child a very simple question: "Are you having a good time?" or "Did you have a good day?" "Did you like the food?" are close-ended questions. They only require a "yes" or "no" answer. "What things did you enjoy doing?" is open-ended; As is "What was good about your day?" or "Tell me about your favorite food."

Open-ended questions invites your children to engage in a dialogue with you. They allow your kids to give more thoughtful responses.The more we can allow our children to do things for themselves, the more strongly we communicate the message that, "I believe in your ability and growing skills."

As you get in the habit of using the language of responsibility, you'll be able to see tangible evidence of your child's growing sense of independence. When we ask our children for their ideas and suggestions we are often surprised by the creative practical solutions they present. Our kids are more likely to follow through with the solutions when they have helped create them.

Friends, isn't the same true for Organizations also?

For example, You as a Boss / Manager instead of asking close ended questions to which the down line is indifferent, ask open-ended questions like "What do you think we can do on customer service issue? " or "Tell me your views about the improvement in the product". By doing so you would start being a Leader and your team would get a feeling of ownership.

"Yes", asking open-ended question will require your conscious effort and a lot of alertness.

So the next time you are dealing with your child or your subordinate or employee or a down line to just take a PAUSE and ask the right OPEN ENDED QUESTION, and you will find your RELATIONSHIP IMPROVES tremendously.

Tell me if this sounds familiar, someone you to do something that you really don't want to do or you honestly don't have time for. It might be a request or an unreasonable request from a friend, a neighbour, a close relative, a family member, your office colleague or your boss for just working late. But you feel like you will let the other person down if you say NO. You feel GUILTY already, and you haven't even responded yet! So you say, "Sure" even though doing so is going to put you under tremendous stress and PRESSURE. You know that you will probably end up resenting this activity, and maybe even ducking some of your responsibilities because your heart's just not in it, but you go ahead and agree anyway.

Why are we so afraid to say NO? For some reason, we have been taught that NO is disrespectful and even insulting. We seem to value other people's time more than our own - feeling that we need to bend over backward to accommodate others, even if it inconveniences us.

I know we're atoning for the "me" but let's be reasonable! "No" is actually one of the healthiest words that can come out of your mouth. When you tell someone NO you are really saying that you understand and accept your own LIMITS, and don't want to do a shoddy job by overwhelming yourself.

That you value your time and priorities and aren't willing to take away from the truly important things in your life. A little selfishness is necessary, if you want to maintain a balanced and sane life!

So how do you say "NO" without insulting the other person, feeling consumed with guilt, or hurting your own credibility? We need to find a way to say NO without dragging up all of those HIDDEN FEARS -- they'll think I'm lazy or selfish, that I have no career drive, that I'm not ambitious, that I have no concern for other people.

It's time to give up all of those roles you're so proud of supermom, martyr, hero keeping you from finding true peace. Once you've accepted that you have the right (and often responsibility) to turn someone down, you can do it in a way that doesn't seem like a REJECTION. Let me show you how:

Here are 20 ways to say "NO" without hurting others

1. "I can't do it right now, but can do it later"

2. "I'm really not the most qualified or competent person for this job"

3. "I just don't have any room in my calendar for this, right now"

4. "I can't, but let me give you the name of someone who can"

5. "I have another commitment to be fulfilled right now"

6. "I'm in the middle of several projects and can't spare time for this"

7. "I've had a few things come up and I need to deal with those first"

8. "I would rather decline than end up doing a mediocre job"

9. "I'm focusing more on my personal and family life right now"

10. "I'm focusing more on my career right now"

11. "I  don't enjoy this kind of work"

12. "I can't help you with this task, but will be happy to help out with another task"

13. "Yes, but I've learned in the past that this really isn't my strong suit"

14. "I'm sure you will do a wonderful job on your own"

15. "I don't have any experience with that, so i can't help you"

16. "I can refer you to someone else who can help you with this"

17. "I hate to split my attention among too many projects"

18. "I'm committed to leaving some free time for myself in my schedule"

19. "I'm not taking on any new projects right now"

20. Or a simple, straight, direct "I'm Sorry, No"

Assertiveness is the advance Communication Skills in the list of soft skills which helps you to manage communication stress.

We tend to fill our lives with a lot of activity and stuff. It's supposed to mean we're busy and successful, that we're fully living. The reality is that it usually just leaves us feeling overwhelmed, crowded and with a longing for a simpler, quieter life.

By filling every minute of the day, we find ourselves with no time to be 'quiet',to go within, to find the inner peace that allows us to be creative,productive and free. By having too much stuff, we feel cramped,stifled and burdened. We feel restricted by "too much" of everything and this impedes our ability to do what's truly important to us.

It's not necessary to go down to the bare minimum, but it is essential that we give ourselves room to grow and time to be reflective. And there is a pervasive effect. Simplifying your life in any area gives you more 'space' in all areas. You have to try it! oops sorrry...  Practice this soft skills right now.

You get to choose the pace: 'Fast & Furious' or 'Slow, Steady & Easy'. The important thing is to keep working on simplifying your life and finding ways to keep it simple. Let yourself have fun and be creative with this.

To get you started, here are a few ideas to simplify your life. Get prepared for a burst of energy from doing it NOW.

Take a break, have fun, connect with your higher self, go for a walk, do something different then the routine hussle pussle of life.

PICK A CORNER
Divide your desk or room into sections. Pick one section and start de-cluttering. Try to touch things only once while going through this process. Use 3 boxes or bags. ,marking them as follows: 'Keep', 'Give Away'; and 'Toss'. If it's paper, ask yourself 'If I lost it, could I find it elsewhere?' If the answer is yes, throw it away. Where ever possible, come up with a system that will allow you to maintain the de-cluttered space.

"There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth." Leo Tolstoy